No, it’s not Jared the Subway guy. It’s FAT Jared… Lorenzen!

Posted: May 18, 2011 by kysco in Kentucky Football
Tags: , , , ,

This article was written by Matt McCarthy, a contributor with

WOW!  It appears one of my favorite QB’s in UK history has hit up one of his favorite chinese buffets too many times!

I love Jared Lorenzen, and it’s great to see him make a comeback in his professional career.  Jared has always been know for being the BIG guy behind center.  His reign as quarterback in his college days made him a Kentucky legend.  Although, he has always taken the brunt of many many fat jokes.  One thing you can’t joke about however, is his ability to excel at football in every form and fashion of his career.  He even has a Superbowl ring!  How many fat QB’s can say that?

Lorenzen initially was hired to be the River Monsters’ GM but got tired of the 9 to 5 and decided to get back on the field again.  He leads the UIFL in passing yards at 256.6 yards per game, and has a crazy efficiency rating of 107.1 . REDICULOUS.  He ranks second in the league with 69 touchdown passes.

Get this, Jared is listed as 290 pounds on the River Monsters official roster.  Ha ha Ha ha.  Look at the picture above and tell me that is a 290 pound man. I’m guessing he is more along the 320 pound range and that’s giving my the man a LOT of credit.

If there are two things we know about Jared, they are this:

  1. He doesn’t shy away from the dinner table
  2. he goes down in history as the most athletic, fat, 320 pound QB in professional football history.

I wish Jared all the luck in the world.  If he gains any more weight, that may be what he needs.  However, who am I to talk?  I’m the nonathletic 200 pound guy behind a computer with no Superbowl ring to speak of.  He has me beat.

  1. craigs list says:

    Keep up the good job Jared! Im sure there’s a reason why you’re keeping your weight the way it is..

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